Somewhere around the beginning of last November, I had the brilliant epiphany that I wanted to return to school. I currently hold an Associates Degree in Occupational Sciences and work in a gynecology office. I wasn’t not sure, better yet I had not found confidence, in what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, but I knew what I was doing was not the end all-be all. Naturally, step one was to return to school. I was so fired up about my decision, that I jumped into overdrive. Over the next 2 months I researched colleges, majors, costs, etc. until I settled on one school and one major. I had decided to attend Full Sail University (Winter Park, FL) and register for the online Music Business Management Bachelor’s program. I filled out dozens of forms, sometimes twice, I had a few phone conferences, I faxed transcripts, I asked for donations when the ends wouldn’t meet, and most importantly, I PRAYED AND HAD FAITH! After several setbacks and a few hopeless looking situations, things turned around. Two days before classes were slated to begin, a student loan was approved, my MacBook Pro and my class software was shipped to me, and I was officially a student again!
During the first few months, my excitement drove me to work hard and to do my best. The A pluses rolled in one after the other! Then the classes became a little more difficult and a lot more frustrating. My A pluses became A’s, and the A’s became A minuses (and so and so forth). Eventually, low assignment grades left me praying for at least a B in the class, which I consider a devastating blow. My hectic schedule pushed school to the back burner. After awhile, I felt burnt out, overwhelmed, and disappointed in my performance. I began to regret ever enrolling in school I was ready to quit because the “easy phase” had officially ended….
THE MORAL OF THE STORY:
If you are anything like me, when you get an idea in your head, you won’t shake it until the idea is reality. I almost hate it when I feel inspired to do something, because in a way I obsess over it until I am doing that something. Well, whether it’s something we want to do, a thing we desire to have, or a place that we would like to go, we will do everything in our power to make it happen. I can remember having such massive faith before I got the “yes” that would allow me to go to school. There was not an ounce of doubt in me, and I exhausted every option before I would accept failure. And once I received what I wanted, I fought hard to protect and appreciate it because of the struggle attached to obtaining it. I’m sure you may be able to relate to this. Think about how hard you worked, fought, prayed to get what you have. Now fast forward the clock a bit. How do you feel about it now? How did you feelings towards it change once the thing you fought for started to fight you?
Regret is one of those feelings that rears its head especially in moments of frustration. Just the natural phases of life mean that things may become difficult or require more work over time. Yes, you may have to put in more effort to accomplish new things than you did before… In moments like these, it is easy to curse the moment in which you made the decision to “do,” and it is even easier to not want the thing that you worked so tirelessly for. BUT DON’T CURSE YOUR MIRACLE! Just as the natural phases of life mean that things may become difficult. it also means that things get better! You have to keep pressing and working hard. Though it seems that your efforts may in some ways be in vain, they are not. Things are working out for you! And you will SEE the reward of your labor.
Tonight brought the epiphany moment. After a series of months of not doing well and earning lower than desired grades, at the point where I thought I was most sure that I wanted to quit, while enrolled in a class that I didn’t consider relative to my degree program, a light bulb went off. Tonight I got a 100% on a quiz… That one grade reminded me that not every assignment will be hard, not every grade will be bad, and overall things aren’t as bad as they seem. Though in each individual battle I am winning by the skin of my teeth, when it comes to the war, I am substantially ahead (3.63 cum GPA).
Take a step back, look at the big picture, and pat yourself on the back. Though things are difficult, they are better than they seem and will continue to get better. Don’t throw in the towel, don’t regret your choices, and please, don’t curse your miracle!