Lesson Learned

I missed last week’s blog, but if you are an avid follower, you knew that already.  I can explain though.  The long and short of the story is that I was too busy for my own good.  Anyway, thanks for coming back today.  *hugs and kisses*

| Lesson Learned |

It is so hard to believe this is the last Thursday of 2018.  I feel like about 5 minutes ago I was wishing everyone I could, “Happy New Year.”  In a blink of an eye, 2018 has come and will soon go, but she has definitely made her mark on infinity…at least for me.  I have had some high highs and some low lows this year, but not one moment that passed left me empty-handed.  Once I finished drying my tears or jumping up and down, whichever was applicable, I had to be mature enough to find the lesson that each circumstance was trying to teach me.  I don’t believe anything occurs by happenstance, so that means everything that comes into my life is either a blessing, a lesson, or both, as cliché as that may sound. 

Today I don’t have anything amazingly deep to share with you all.  Though I could paint pictures and share narratives, I simply want to share with you what 2018 meant to me, pulled from me, and taught me.

In no particular order of importance, 2018 taught me:

  • It is not selfish to take care of myself FIRST!
  • Self-care isn’t just bubble baths, trips to the spa, or getting my hair done.  It is as simple as making a choice just for Christen.
  • It’s okay to let go of some things and even people. 
  • I CAN let go of something and even people.
  • If I put my mind to it and trust God, I can do anything. (Philippians 4:13)
  • Some of the greatest friends I could have had were waiting for the chance to be my friend.
  • Some of the most selfish people in my life had a seat at the table.
  • Referring to the two previous bullet points, I needed to do some rearranging, and I did!
  • I’m strong enough to carry loads that seem too heavy.
  • It is wise to put down the heavy loads that don’t belong to me.
  • Being 30 years old changes everything, and it is FUN!!!!!
  • God is always listening even when he’s not responding.
  • (A reminder) Forgiveness doesn’t automatically equal reconciliation.
  • A conversation can clear up 1 million misunderstandings.
  • If people are not willing to allow you to grow, let them go!
  • Cooking can be so much fun, especially when you share that food with someone who thinks your food is BOMB!
  • Finding someone with similar interests makes simple things feel like adventures.
  • Some things are beneath me. …I say that with no intended arrogance.
  • Knowing who I am has helped me define what I deserve, what I will tolerate, and what I will/won’t entertain.  (See the previous bullet point.)
  • I am blessed beyond measure, and even on my worst day, God is still faithful.
  • I am more gifted/talented than I give myself credit for.
  • I have a larger scope of influence than I give myself credit for.
  • I have more supporters than I give myself credit for.
  • The world won’t end if I say, “NO!”
  • “No,” is a complete sentence.
  • It’s okay to try something new.
  • My heart is big…sometimes too big.
  • If it’s toxic, it will NEVER produce something healthy.
  • Being inclusive (wanting everyone to be included at the same rate and on the same level) can sometimes slow me down or hinder me from blessings and levels that were really intended soley for me.
  • NEVER SPEAK IN ABSOLUTES!  I DON’T have the final say.
  • Sometimes the situation is isn’t for fixing but just for learning the lesson.
  • The journey teaches so much more than the arrival to the destination.  Hell, sometimes it really is just about the journey!
  • God always provides on time.
  • Even if you don’t think you are wrong, sincerely apologize anyway.
  • (A reminder) It is what you make it.  You may not be able to change the situation, but how you respond may change the narrative.
  • Listen to your body!
  • Drink some durn water!
  • Find what works for you, and work that thing!  You may not run at the same pace as others or accomplish the same goals as others, but that’s okay.  Your lane is GOOD ENOUGH!
  • I AM GOOD ENOUGH, and anyone who doesn’t agree doesn’t deserve me.
  • Time is one of the most precious gifts we are given.
  • It is okay to be selective with who receives my time and energy.
  • Everyday is a new day to try again.
  • I don’t have to be anyone’s savior – Christ has that covered.
  • Some people prefer to not be rescued.  Recognized the attention-seeking behavior and ignore it!
  • My quirks and intricacies make me amazing!

I know this list could be perceived as basic…stuff I should have known by now.  I am content enough in my own skin to applaud myself for what I’ve learned and not be ashamed of what I haven’t.  Simply put, I am growing!  I am ending this year in such a better space than I began it.  I can vividly remember crying for the first week of the year because I didn’t have money, I was heartbroken, and I felt so alone.  If someone would have told me that in 2018 I would accomplish what I have accomplished, both goals and growth, I wouldn’t have believed them.  But here I am on the last Thursday of the month with only a handful of days remaining in this year, victorious.  I lived to see 30 years old.  I released music and pulled off a successful release concert debt free!  I co-directed an amazing stage play.  I am only weeks away from graduation.  I am mentally and emotionally healthy.  I am surrounded by great people.  I have new blog followers (welcome, y’all).  I’ve built new relationships.  I haven’t missed a meal, been in the dark, or been without a roof over my head all year.  I watched my brother walk to get his Master’s Degree, my other brother go back to school to get his Bachelor’s Degree, and my sister-in-love get her Associate’s Degree and push forward towards her Bachelor’s as well.  God has given me peace and sincere joy, and I have laughed more in second half of this year to make up for all of the tears in the first.

I didn’t cross everything off my list and some things from my vision board will crossover into the new year.  I’ve lost some major relationships and dynamics have changed in others.  My edges still didn’t grow back, and I gained weight instead of losing it.  I didn’t get married and I still don’t have a boyfriend, and I am PERFECTLY content with that – go figure.  All in all, I am just saying that I’m blessed…2018 retaught me that lesson.  

If this year has been hard for you, full of changes and transitions, I encourage you to find the small moments of happiness.  And if you can seem to find those, remember that God didn’t take his hand off your lifen not even for one second.

I pray that you have an amazing remainder of 2018, and a happy new year.  I’ll see you next year.

I hope this helps.

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