My beloved readers, I have a confession: I didn’t feel like blogging today. I don’t feel extra inspired, and I don’t have an urgency to share any major revelations. If I can be completely candid with you, I am posting primarily because it is Thursday, and I post on Thursdays.
One of the most guaranteed ways to have inconsistent results is to have inconsistent effort.
Some time over the weekend, I began wrestling with the idea of not blogging today. I know that seems a bit extreme as I was only about two days out from my last blog, but I just wasn’t sure that I was up to it. The truth (that I may share in a later blog) is that last weekend was rough and came with a set of sucker punches. The beginning portion of this week has had its highs and lows and even some highs that made me feel low. All in all, I just wasn’t interested in “Sharing my story. Changing a life.” A few hours ago, I even tweeted, “I don’t feel like blogging today, but I’m going to do it anyway.”
The truth of the matter is there are times in life where we do things for the sake of keeping our word, and other times that we do things for the sake of being consistent. I have recently recommitted to living a healthier lifestyle. I joined the gym and had been going with a few of my home girls. I traded fast food lunches for homemade salads, fruit, and healthy snacks. Lastly, I started drinking at least 1.5 liters of water daily. I went strong for about two to three weeks, then last week happened, and I got knocked off my high horse. While a friend of mine shared that she had lost six pounds, I hadn’t been to the gym in seven days and hadn’t drank more than a bottle of water in three. Though we both have our own personal reasons for our lifestyle changes, one of the goals is to lose some weight for this beach vacation we are taking in the summertime. I wanted to be jealous of the fact that she had residual results and I didn’t and she could possibly end up looking like a dime on this vacay while I’d be looking like spare change, but I had a reality check. I didn’t have any results because I didn’t remain consistent.
While wracking my brain trying to figure out how to share this piece on consistency with you, because I didn’t feel like it, I ended up gaining more insight than I bargained for. I am willing to admit that I have been inconsistent as it relates to eating healthy and going to the gym. I don’t mind admitting that I am sometimes inconsistent as it relates to whether or not I give 100% to tasks or at work especially when I feel burnt out, physically or emotionally. What I didn’t realize is that I tend to be inconsistent with myself specifically as it relates to what I think of or how I treat myself. Don’t worry, I’ll explain.
Just last week I said something to the effect of not regretting my journey because it made me who I am and brought me to this point… blah blah blah. Fast forward to this morning as I scrolled through my mental Rolodex of peers who are working as teachers, purchasing homes, buying new cars, and tucking cash into savings accounts monthly. In that moment, I felt measures of regret and began playing the “Should’ve, Could’ve, Would’ve” game. I couldn’t help but think that if I would have just went to a four-year college out of high school instead of art school, focused on finding myself at 19 years old instead of getting married, or learned to save money instead of learning the art of survival mode then maybe, just maybe, I’d be like my peers who are doing well and not in “the struggle.” But what happened to the declarations that I just made…that I’ve embraced what my life has become, I’m proud of me for overcoming, and that the hand I was dealt made me who I am? If I’m not mistaken, it looks as if I flaked on the very thing I believed about me because of how I felt, but consistency has NOTHING to do with feelings. Feelings change…and fade. An investment into emotions and even circumstances only result in instability and inconsistency. Going back and forth with myself as to whether or not I am a failure, did things right, or followed the right path not only makes me question where I am but it puts me at risk to forfeit where I can go.
The truth is I have bad days accompanied with, followed by, and despite good days. That, my friend, is life. There are days when I am rooting for myself loudly and other days when I am seeking for strength just to get through the day. Sometimes I knock it out of the park, and other days I get three strikes. When I dug to the core of these most recent feelings and what seemed to be the recanting of my declaration, I found that I was playing the comparison game, and comparison kills. That’s a different blog for a different day.
My two goals today were to publish blog despite how I felt and to remind myself that my journey is okay and my destiny is still sure despite what I feel. Well, I am just about to hit the “publish” button on this blog, even if it didn’t hit the mark today. In addition, I’ve decided to shift my focus from what I don’t have because life happened to what I do have despite life happening. I am removing feelings and emotions from the equation of consistency. Sometimes it all boils down to a choice. Today I am choosing to make “it” happen regardless, and if I fall off, I’m going to pick myself up and get back to it. Just like I posted this blog because I wanted to be consistent, I am going to speak positively over myself today if nothing else for the sake of being consistent.
…and anything I do repeatedly will bring results. Let me add for the record, consistent negativity yields results too. Keep that on your mind.
Maybe I’ll say more on a day when I feel like it. *wink*
It was a bit broken, but I hope this helps.